Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
we're so committed to being not committed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
