I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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