Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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