Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
