Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize