there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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