yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
