you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
