We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
