I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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