I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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