dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
