New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
