im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
