I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize