im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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