we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
