just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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