its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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