that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
