I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
