I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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