I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize