Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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