There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Apparently you make a good broom.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
