i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize