i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
