Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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