Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
