Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
