I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
