I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
