There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
time to smoke my breakfast
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
