i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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