The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
