I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
