I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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