Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
