I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
