I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
