There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
