CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
