Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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