I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
