Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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