We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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