I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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