I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
