did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize