I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
