just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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