we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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