So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
