Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
