I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
