Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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