Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
