Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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