we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
