okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
