So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
