I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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