The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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