I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
