Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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