biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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