Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My liver is preforming stress tests.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
