i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
