But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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