Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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