I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
