Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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