and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
