Dual....:-)
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
